In the gym - part 2
“We’re going to put you on a plinth,” Ella informs me, “and see what’s what.” A plinth? Carpenter John organises sweatshop shifts of students to bang out dozens of plinths at the end of each year, white-painted MDF cuboids that hold together long enough to display 100 or so graduate projects, then get smashed up and skipped because there’s nowhere to store them. They’re going to put me on one of those? Like a vase?
Ella wheels me over to a large padded table. As we cross the gym I can see it’s more like my old school setup than the Orange People’s Republic. Fewer tumble mats, more exercise balls and wheelchairs, and plenty of these vinyl-topped tables, with their hydraulic scissor supports. I lift my legs one at a time as Ella swings the wheelchair’s footrests out of the way. She helps me stand, then holds my chest front and back and orders me to “Step round, don’t pivot.”
Interesting. I’ll try…in little birdie steps, I turn to face away from the padded table, my dance partner rotating with me.
“The plinth’s right behind you,” she tells me. The plinth! That’s what a plinth is. Right. I’m a bit distracted because there are windows and I can see Outside. “Oi!” says Ella; Earth to Steve. I pay attention. She moves her grip to my upper arms and tells me to ease my bum back. I do so, but the movement becomes freefall and I land with a thump, grateful for the plinth’s padding.
“OK, I’ve got you,” she reassures me. “Can you sit up straight?” Ish. Maybe; I shuffle my feet so they’re planted square and pull in my lower back. “Good,” says Ella, making me smile like a praised child, “OK?”
I nod, she lets go, and I begin to topple sideways. Hey…she catches me and tilts me upright, then tentatively removes her hands. After a few seconds I start to fall, to the other side this time. Ella rights me.
What’s going on? I can’t even sit? I thought you just schlumped, everything hanging off the spine like a meat flag, beanbagged into the pelvis, head perched on top. Guess again, I guess.
“OK. Well,” says Ella. “We’ve got some work to do.”
